God Looked Down

I remember childhood days where those who went by the name of "friend", betrayed and denied me, and it seemed to me like it all had been pretend. I remember tears at night as I tried so hard to understand. And I prayed that somewhere a true friend would come and take my hand. And God looked down at me, smiled, and gave me you. I remember first love, first kisses, and the pain when it all was gone. Everything seemed so black to me and I thought I would never see the dawn. I remember weeping in the darkness for someone who would return my love. And I prayed that somewhere I would find a love worth always speaking of. And God looked down at me, smiled, and gave me you. I remember the torment of transitions as I tried to move from boy to man. So much confusion and insecurity, and nothing in life went according to my plan. I remember screaming to heaven for someone to look and see the real me. And I prayed that someone would help me find the courage to believe I could be free. And God looked down at me, smiled, and gave me you. I remember hungering for knowledge, stimulation and a mind to challenge me. Conversation and depth were what I wanted, whether we would agree or disagree. I remember calling out into the wind for a mind that hungered for learning. And I prayed that someone would talk with me and experience that same yearning. And God looked down at me, smiled, and gave me you. I remember not so long ago when again crushed under confusion doubt and despair. There was no direction and I was unable to look in the mirror and meet my own stare. I remember being locked in prisons of my own making, unable anymore to see the door. And I prayed that someone would be willing to face my darkness, and come across the floor. And God looked down at me, smiled, and gave me you. I remember failing in so many areas when all I wanted to do was see success. Efforts almost seemed to be in vain and I could see nothing but each new transgress. I remember being huddled in my bed at night, sleep fleeing before the face of my sins. And I prayed that someone would encourage me to try again just as each new day begins. And God looked down at me, smiled, and gave me you. I remember wanting so much to give all of my heart and soul to someone who needed it. There needed to be a person in the world who to change and growth also wanted to commit. I remember staring at stars and believing that there was a friend that I could help grow. And I prayed that someone would be there, just for me to see inside and truly know. And God looked down at me, smiled, and gave me you. I remember oh so many prayers, so many tears and so many nights in prayer to the Lord. There seemed to be no answers to so much. I asked God if He even heard my words. And God looked down at me and whispered to my soul, "My precious child, I know all you need to make you whole. And God once again looked down at me, smiled, and gave me you.

All content here is (C) 2003 Nick Martins